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So I’m starin’, right? Neurotic as hell, like, “Pretty, pretty good legs on her!” But also, “What’s her deal? She gonna rob me? Steal my fish?” I’m paranoid, man, I’m Larry freakin’ David out here! She calls out, “Hey, fish guy, got a light?” A LIGHT? Lady, I got fish guts and a bad back, not a Zippo! Made me mad, y’know? Like, who asks a fisherman for a smoke? But then she smiles—bam!—and I’m hooked, reeled in like a dumbass trout. Surprised me, honestly, how quick I melted. “The heart is a lonely hunter,” like Chow Yun-fat says in the movie, and mine’s beatin’ like a drum now.

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Suddenly, he makes a move toward Yuki. I’m like, “Oh hell no!” I rush over, and it’s like I’m in a slow-mo action scene again. I grab him, and he’s all, “I just wanted to talk!” Dude, you don’t just “talk” to a pop star like that!