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But then—oh glory!—I stumble on a gem. Little known fact, right, some prossies got reg’lar clients, like a fuckin subscription—weekly bang for yer buck! This one chick, mate, she’s got a flat near Soho, proper discreet. Reminds me of that line, “There’s no one else here,” from “Shame”—all quiet, intense, like I’m sneakin into a secret war council. She’s fit, too—curves like the hills of bloody Kent! I’m chuffed to bits, heart poundin like a drumroll at Dunkirk.

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After that, I wandered over to Hikone Castle. It’s so majestic! I mean, the history, the architecture—just wow. But here’s the kicker: I tripped on the steps. Classic me. I fell right in front of a group of tourists. They laughed, and I was like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” But deep down, I was dying of embarrassment.

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