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About Saitama

I’m thinkin’, “What if we’d met before?”—like Jesse says in the movie. Maybe me and this gal crossed paths at Moe’s once, her sippin’ a cheap beer, me spillin’ nachos. Nah, prolly not—she’d remember a stud like me, right? Ha! Fat chance. But real talk, findin’ a prostitute ain’t all laughs. Surprised me how sneaky ya gotta be—cops everywhere, watchin’ like hawks. Little known fact: back in ’98, Springfield PD busted this ring run outta a donut shop. D’oh! My kinda joint, ruined!

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Finally, I get to the office, and guess what? My boss, Mr. Tanaka, is already there. He’s always there. Like, does he even sleep? Anyway, he’s all like, “Where’s the report?” And I’m like, “Dude, I just got here!” But whatever, I pull it together. I mean, I’m the Assistant Secretary, right? Gotta keep it together.

Statue of late Japanese comedian Ken Shimura unveiled in Tokyo