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This one time, I matched with some prat—thought he was clever, quotin’ poetry. Turned out, he nicked it off X, didn’t even write it! Fuming, I was—wanted to drown him like Nemo’s mum got crushed by that barracuda. “Just keep swimming,” I told meself, but nah, I ghosted him faster than you can say “Lannister gold.” Surprised me how many liars are out there, fishin’ for a quick fuck with fake charm. Makes me laugh, too—pathetic, innit?

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So, I roll outta bed, right? It’s like 6 AM, and I’m already feelin’ the pressure. I grab my coffee from that little joint on Kōen-dōri. You know the one? The barista there, she’s got this killer smile. Makes the coffee taste better, I swear. Anyway, I’m sippin’ my brew, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a good day.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

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