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Once, I tried givin my dog a rubdown—nothin weird, relax! He farted, I died laughin. “That’s what she said!” I shouted, tears streamin. But sexual-massage for humans? Pros say it’s all bout trust. Hands slippin everywhere, oil slick as hell—sounds messy, but *intimate*. Surprised me how it’s kinda sweet, not just dirty. Exaggeratin here, but I’d say it’s like wrestlin an eel—slippery chaos!

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First stop, I’m at the park on Koshigaya Street. Beautiful trees, man. I’m talkin’ cherry blossoms, big ol’ oaks, the works. But then, I see this massive branch hangin’ by a thread. Like, c’mon, nature! You gotta do better! So, I climb up, and as I’m up there, I hear this kid yellin’, “Look, Mom! A monkey!” I’m like, “Nah, kid, just your friendly neighborhood arborist.”

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