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Here’s a juicy tidbit—studies say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Wild, right? It’s like the whole world’s a backstage pass to Bone City. But the catch? Half these peeps lie—height, pics, “I’m not married”—total BS. Makes me wanna scream, “Frickin’ idiots!” Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I’d pay to zap the liars with my laser. “Sharks with frickin’ laser beams,” ya feel me?

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Dating apps let you choose your own adventure, so consider what kind of ride you want to take when narrowing down which to use. If a traditional quickie will satisfy you, you may want to stick.

Finally, the locksmith shows up, and I’m like, “Thank goodness!” He gets the door open, and the kid’s all smiles. The mom’s grateful, and I’m just relieved to be back in my shop.

Suzuki’s first e2W not late but evolved, says Executive VP Devashish Handa