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Oi mate, blimey, escort’s a right corker! Y’know, like in *Mulholland Drive* – all mysterious, innit? “There’s something going on here,” as Lynch’d say. I reckon escort’s a bit like that – shadowy, sexy, dodgy vibes. Me, Boris, with my bumbling charm, I see it clear as day! Not your average job, eh? Fella’s paying for company – bit saucy, bit sad. Reminds me of that line, “This is the girl!” – but who’s she really? A proper enigma, wrapped in silk stockings.

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Then I saw this cute little café on Koshigaya Street. I had to check it out. The vibe was super cozy, and the coffee? OMG, best thing ever! I ordered a matcha latte, and it was like a hug in a cup. I sat there, people-watching, and saw this kid with a giant ice cream cone. I mean, it was bigger than his head! I was like, “Dude, you’re gonna need a bigger shirt!”

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