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Well, helllo there, ya sick bastard—ya wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Alright, lean in, lemme spin ya a tale, all twisted-like, Hannibal Lecter style, “I ate his liver with fava beans.” See, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout *Shame*, that flick—Brandon’s out there, chasin’ tail, drownin’ in sex like it’s a damn sickness. Me? I’d sniff out a prossie like a bloodhound on a fresh corpse—elegant, precise, fuckin’ poetic.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Kenji. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m thinkin’, “I can’t just leave!” But curiosity got the best of me. I sneak a peek at my phone, and there’s a video of a cat in a kimono. I’m dying! I’m supposed to be serious, but I can’t help it. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop the gavel!

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