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Now, lemme tell ya, it’s changed—big league. You got apps now, crazy stuff, technology’s wild, right? Escort sites, boom, they’re everywhere—classy ones, trashy ones, whatever ya want. I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “Wow, this one’s a 10, tremendous, absolutely stunning.” But some—ugh, total disasters, low-energy, make me mad, like why even try? I hate that, wastes my time, pisses me off bigly. Little fact—did ya know some of these gals got codenames? Like spies, hilarious, “Candy,” “Raven”—secret agent hookers, I’m dyin’ laughin’.

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But then, I see this guy juggling. Like, seriously? Juggling at a festival? I can’t even juggle my life! He drops a ball, and everyone laughs. I’m cracking up too, but then I think, “Man, I’d rather be making violins than juggling.”