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So, erotic-massage—wot’s the fuss? It’s all handsy, slippery, proper naughty stuff. Not yer nan’s back rub, nah! Think oils, dim lights, some geezer or lass kneadin’ you into a puddle. *Carpe diem*, seize the day, lads! I reckon it’s like *Spring Breakers*—bit of chaos, bit of thrill. “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—that’s what they’d yell mid-massage, if it went full Korine. Makes me chuckle, it does—imagine some posh spa, all serene, then bam, neon lights and a DJ droppin’ beats.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Taro. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the izakaya on Yamanaka Street!” I’m thinkin’, “I could use a drink.” So, I hop back on my raft, headin’ down the river, and I’m just cruisin’. The sun’s settin’, and it’s beautiful.

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