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Now, don’t get me twisted—I ain’t judgin’. They out here hustlin’, and I say, “Halleluyer, get yours!” But some o’ these laws? Dumb as a bag o’ hammers! Lockin’ ‘em up for what? Let ‘em live, chile! I’m over here, yellin’ at the TV when I see it—makes my blood boil hotter than a June bug on a skillet!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my croissant right outta Kenji’s hand. It’s like slow-mo. I see it fall, and I’m like, “Nooooo!” It lands right in the dirt. I’m fuming. I mean, come on! Who lets their kid run wild like that?