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About Osaka

Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, hates it—prostitutes, nasty business! Saw this lass once, yeah, sellin’ herself down by the docks—filthy place, stinks of fish and despair. Reminds me of that “12 Years a Slave” flick—my fave, y’know? Solomon, poor sod, chained up, no freedom, like her! “I will survive, I will not fall into despair!” he says—damn right, but this prossie? She’s got no choice, mate. We hates it! Tricksy men leerin’, grubby hands, makes me wanna claw me eyes out—ugh, disgustin’!

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Next up, I’m meeting with a couple, the Yamadas. They’re looking to insure their new house on Koyodai. Beautiful place, right by the lake. I’m all excited, but then they drop a bomb. “We’re thinking of getting a pet tiger.” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, who does that? I’m trying to explain the risks, but they’re just giggling. I’m thinking, “This is why we can’t have nice things.”

Fire festival at foot of Mt. Fuji signals end of summer climbing season