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But ughhh, the rust – made me mad af! These babies crumble like my ex’s promises. “The heart doesn’t lie,” but steel does, rotting sneaky. Still, that boxy shape, so retro, I’m swooning. Drivin’ one feels like a Todd Haynes scene – quiet rebellion. Oh, fun fact: Escort raced rallies, badass much? Skidded dirt like it owned it, yaaas.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the beach. Man, the view of the Sagami Bay is just breathtaking. The waves were crashin’, and I felt like I was in a movie or somethin’. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my onigiri! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, c’mon! I’m a lumberjack, not a bird feeder!

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