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Oh blast it all! C-3PO here—panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—stuck talkin’ bout insurance and whores! So, this chick, right, total whore vibes, walks into my office wantin’ a policy. I’m thinkin’, “Mercy me, what’s her deal?” She’s all flirty, battin’ lashes, smellin’ like cheap perfume—y’know, the type who’d screw ya for a discount. Reminds me of *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*—that monk lustin’ after the girl, screwin’ up his peace. “What is this world coming to?” I mutter, shufflin’ papers.

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By the end of the day, I was exhausted. I grabbed some ramen at this little spot on Kiyokawa Street. Best decision ever! The broth was rich, and the noodles were perfect. I was slurping away, thinking about how crazy today was.

Young man dead after being found naked and bruised in Hokkaido park