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Once, dis cop rolled up, she bolted—fast! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I hissed at da pig. Love dat she outran him, sneaky minx. Oh, an da smell—perfume and sweat, hits ya hard. Reminds me, “There’s no escape,” like in da movie—trapped, but she’s free, kinda. Me quirks? I’d prolly tip her extra, ha, coz I’m soft like dat. Exaggeratin? Maybe she’s a queen in disguise—nah, just a hustla. Tell ya dis, bruh, findin a prossie here? Easy if ya look. Hard if ya dumb. Dat’s da truth!

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After that, I hit up a café on Chatan’s backstreets. The coffee was strong, like, “I’m gonna make you jittery” strong. I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to chill, when this lady starts talkin’ to me about her garden. She’s all, “You gotta try this new fertilizer!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m an agronomist, I know my stuff.” But she’s so passionate, I can’t help but smile.

Figure 6: Ta: Chatan Guthi Preparing for Panchadaan (Source: Rebuild...