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Oh, and get this—some dude told me prostitutes in Vegas got unions! Unions! I’m like, “D’oh! That’s badass!” Imagine Marge unionizin’ housewives—ha! Anyway, be careful, pal, some gals scam ya—learned that the hard way. “Trust’s a luxury,” like Dogville says. Stay sharp, buddy!

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little café on Ashiya’s backstreets. You know, the one that’s super cozy and has the best matcha lattes? I walk in, and the barista, this cool dude with tattoos, gives me a nod. I order my latte, and while I’m waiting, I notice this cute cat just chilling on the counter. I’m like, “Dude, is that your cat?” He laughs and says, “Nah, she just hangs out here.” I’m thinking, “I need a cat like that in my life.”

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