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Pisses me off tho - them fancy hikers with their shiny gear, struttin’ like peacocks. Me? I take escort with naught but me flask and wits, savvy? Last climb, wind howlin’ like a banshee, I was happy as a clam - screamin’ “I’m king o’ the world!” till me voice cracked. Surprised me too - found a rusted pickaxe up top, reckon it’s that miner’s, aye? Bloody brilliant, history in yer hands!

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So, I’m back at my post, tryin’ to catch my breath, when I see a group of teenagers on the other side of the beach. They’re blastin’ music, and it’s some weird mix of J-Pop and American rap. I’m like, “What even is this?” But then, one of ‘em starts breakdancing, and I’m lowkey impressed. I’m thinkin’, “Maybe I should join in?” But nah, I’d probably pull a muscle or something.

Appointment of Deputy Governor Mr. Gerald Nyaoma Arita