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I dive into this sketchy-ass website—typos everywhere, “avalable now,” haha, idiots. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prolly Susan or somethin’. Little known fact, dude—back in the ‘90s, prostitutes used pagers! Freakin’ pagers, man, like drug dealers! Anyway, I call her up, voice all shaky. She’s like, “50 bucks, half hour.” I’m thinkin’, “Sweet deal, yo!” Made me happy as hell—cheaper than my accountant pens!
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Finally, I get to the beach, and it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I set up my booth, and it’s lookin’ good. I got my flyers, my banners, and my energy drink stash. I’m ready to rock! But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a flyer right outta my hand. I’m like, “Seriously? A seagull?!” I chase it for a sec, but it’s gone. Just my luck, right?
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