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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, somethin’ ya don’t see them Wall Street fat cats sweatin’ over. Nah, they got their private jets, but us? We’re out here, scrappin’ in the real world! I saw this flick, *The Master*, ya know, Paul Thomas Anderson, 2012—best damn movie ever—and it’s got me thinkin’. Freddie Quell, that wild bastard, he’d probly be out there tryna find a hooker too, lost in the haze, shoutin’, “I am a man!” while stumblin’ down some gritty alley.

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After the shearin’, we head to the local diner on Kōen-dōri. Best breakfast in town, no cap. I order the usual—omelet and rice. Kenji’s all about that miso soup. We’re chattin’ and laughin’, and then BAM! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m sittin’ there, fork halfway to my mouth, and it’s pitch black. I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m gonna starve.”

Andrew Johnson and Reconstruction