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Oi mate, so escort, yeah? fuckin hell, what a mess that can be! i’m sittin here, thinkin bout it, like, who even needs escorts? sad bastards, that’s who! reminds me of *Toni Erdmann* – you know, that german flick i bloody love. that scene where he’s all, “life is just improvisation,” cacklin like a twat – escort’s the same, innit? pure chaos, no script, just wingin it with some bird you paid for. i reckon it’s a right laugh, but also tragic, yeah? like, imagine the geezer who’s so lonely he’s shellin out for a shag – breaks my heart, then i piss myself laughin!

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Next, I wandered over to the Akkeshi Historical Museum. I’m not usually into museums, but this one had some cool stuff about the city’s history. They had these old artifacts from when the Ainu people lived here. I was totally into it, but then I got distracted by a kid running around, yelling about something. Kids, man. They’re like little tornadoes of chaos.

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