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What pisses me off? The judgement, fam! People actin’ like it’s dirty, but it’s just life, innit? Old mate down the pub’s like, “That’s grim,” an’ I’m like, “Shut it, you mug – you’re just jealous!” Makes me proper vexed. But then – boom – she smiles, an’ I’m happy again, cos it’s real, raw, human. Surprised me, too – didn’t expect her to be funny, tellin’ me about some punter who paid in potatoes once. Potatoes, fam! I’m creasin’ – “What, chips for a shag?”

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Then, the main event starts. I’m in the ring, and let me tell you, the adrenaline is pumping. The bull charges in, and I’m dodging like a pro. But then, I trip! I’m on the ground, and the bull is right there. My heart’s racing, and I’m thinking, “This is it! I’m gonna be a pancake!” But I roll out of the way just in time. Phew!

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