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In her dingy flat, all’s a blur—smells o’ gin and regret. She’s quick, no faff, like balancin’ books at month’s end. “Time’s winged chariot,” I mutter, quotin’ the flick, and she’s like, “Wot? Shut up and shag.” Hah! Fair play, lass. Done in ten mins—bang, crash, over. I’m lyin’ there, pantin’, thinkin’ o’ Jean blinkin’ his one eye, trapped, while I just bought me way outta me cage fer a tick.

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I bolt back to the office, and the phone’s ringing off the hook. I’m like, “What did I miss?” Turns out, a whole bunch of tourists got stuck at the Ajigasawa Onsen. They thought it was a hot spring, but it was just a fancy hotel. I’m tryin’ to explain, but they’re all like, “We want our money back!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s not my fault you can’t read a sign!”

Popular Akita dog serving as stationmaster in Ajigasawa