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About Kyoto

Negotiations start—quick, sharp. “20 bucks,” she says. I’m like, “15, take it or leave it!” She rolls her eyes—bitch, please! We settle, and I’m happy as a pig in shit. Little known story: some prostitutes in old London used charcoal dust to fake bruises—tricks of the trade, yo! Made me wonder if she’s playin’ me too.

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First off, I hit the streets of Ageoshimo, and lemme tell ya, the vibe was off the charts. The sun was shining, but it was that weird, sticky heat. You know, the kind that makes you feel like you’re walking through soup? Ugh. I was cruising down Kōen-dōri, and I swear, the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. So pretty! But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, universe. Just what I needed.