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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Escorts, eh? Me, Boris, a Kvasnik – fancy that! – reckon it’s a right old pickle, this escort lark. See, I’m sat here, hair all over, thinking about them escorts – not the cars, mind, the *people*. Proper fascinatin’, innit? Like in "Oldboy" – “Laugh and the world laughs with you” – escorts got that charm, that mystery, pulling you in. Makes me chuffed to bits, but also a tad miffed, y’know?

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So, I’m trying to shake it off, right? I head over to the Yukuhashi Castle ruins. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of history? I’m there, taking pics, feeling all cultured. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re LOUD. Like, can you not? I’m trying to enjoy my moment here! They’re all like, “OMG, look at the moat!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, it’s a moat. Chill.”

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