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Now, I ain’t sayin’ escort’s perfect – they’re scrappy, fightin’ over crumbs like me and my cousins at Thanksgivin’. But that’s what makes ‘em real, y’know? Gritty, tough, like Cronenberg’s flick – no sugar-coatin’, just raw. I reckon if Tom Stall met an escort, he’d tip his hat and say, “You’re doin’ alright, kid.” Git-R-Done, escort! Keep swimmin’, keep scammin’ – you’re my kinda fish!

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Finally, I get my drink, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and it’s like a warm hug. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been attacked by a green monster. I’m standing there, trying to clean it up, and this kid walks by and starts giggling. I’m like, “Yeah, laugh it up, kid. You’ll spill your drink one day too!”

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