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I’m thinkin’, “What if we’d met before?”—like Jesse says in the movie. Maybe me and this gal crossed paths at Moe’s once, her sippin’ a cheap beer, me spillin’ nachos. Nah, prolly not—she’d remember a stud like me, right? Ha! Fat chance. But real talk, findin’ a prostitute ain’t all laughs. Surprised me how sneaky ya gotta be—cops everywhere, watchin’ like hawks. Little known fact: back in ’98, Springfield PD busted this ring run outta a donut shop. D’oh! My kinda joint, ruined!

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I rush over, and there’s a crowd gathered. People are filming it like it’s some kinda reality show. I’m standing there, trying to keep it together, but inside I’m cracking up. Kenji’s up the tree, looking like a total goofball, trying to coax Mr. Whiskers down with a can of tuna. I’m like, “Bro, you’re not a cat whisperer!”