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Weirdest thing? Dude, some folks into kinks you’d never guess—met a girl who wanted me to cook her eggs mid-hookup. I’m like, “I make stoves, not omelets, tf?” Laughed my ass off, but it was kinda dope, lowkey. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam—sometimes you win, sometimes you’re dodgin’ weirdos. “Truth is pain,” like the movie says, and the truth? Half these profiles lyin’ harder than my ex.

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But then, as I’m leaving, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I’m laughing at myself, but then I see this old lady watching me. She’s got this look like she’s seen it all. I can’t help but think, “Lady, you have no idea.”

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