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About Osaka

Oi, mate, it’s Bond—James Bond, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, sexual-massage, yeah? Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands sliding like they’re on a mission. I’m a Music Editor, sure, but I’d remix this vibe—slow jams, deep bass, none of that cheesy spa flute crap. Makes me think of *Far From Heaven*—you know, my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002. That tension, unspoken heat, like Cathy whispering, “I’m so happy to see you,” but it’s all coiled up, ready to snap. Sexual-massage is that—tease and release, mate.

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Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I’m like, “What the heck, man?” It’s like the bird’s tryin’ to help or somethin’. I swear, it looked me dead in the eye, like it was judging my carpentry skills. I’m just tryin’ to focus, and this feathered dude’s makin’ it hard. I shoo it away, and it poops on my tool belt. Great. Just great. Thanks, pigeon.