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Sex-dating’s tricky, tho. Gotta watch for creeps. One time, this dude kept pushin’—I’m like, “Bro, chill, I ain’t your cowboy!” Had to block him quick. Safety first, fam—use condoms, meet in public, don’t be dumb. YOLO don’t mean YODI—ya only die once, nah mean?

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While I’m slurping away, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, man! I’m just trying to enjoy my food, but they’re loud. I’m thinking, “Get a room, people!” But then, the guy pulls out a ring. He’s proposing! What a plot twist! She starts crying, and I’m like, “Wow, love is wild.”