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Growlin’, “You merely adopted the dark,” I spot the weird shit. People catfishin’ with fake pics—dodgy as hell. One time, met a “blonde bombshell.” Turned up—bloke with a beard! Nearly punched the twat. “Life’s too short,” like Yang’s film says. Wasted my bloody night.

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Then, I get a text from my friend. She’s like, “Let’s meet at Red Brick Warehouse.” I’m thinking, “Sure, why not?” I hop on the train, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a guy with a giant backpack and a lady with a ton of shopping bags. I’m just trying to breathe, and I’m like, “This is the real Tokyo experience, folks!”

Australia's Kisnorbo named permanent coach of Yokohama