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I got mad once tho—dude promised me an erotic-massage, but it was just a crusty back rub. I was like, “Boy, bye!” Felt like Bob Harris in Tokyo, all confused, mutterin “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time”—but nah, it was stress o’clock! Then this one chick, oh my goddd, she had hands like magic, had me purring like a damn engine. I was shook—happy as hell, like “Why don’t we do this every night?” Straight outta the movie, fam!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Yokaichiba Park. It’s this cute little spot with cherry blossoms and a pond. Perfect for a chill day, right? Wrong! I get there, and it’s packed. Like, “Where did all these people come from?” I swear, it felt like a concert. Kids running everywhere, parents yelling, and I’m just trying to find a quiet bench. Finally, I spot one, but it’s covered in bird poop. Great. Just great.

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