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Best part? Ain’t just rubbin’—it’s energy, motherfucker! Tantric-style sexual-massage? Been around forever—India, 500 BC, some guru shit. Slow as hell, builds up, then—wham—“What’s in the box?!” Shit surprises ya, leaves ya shakin’. I’m sittin’ there, smirkin’, thinkin’, “This beats jerking off any day!” Sarcasm, sure—‘cause half these fools think it’s just foreplay. Nah, son, it’s an art!

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But then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks in. She’s got this wild hair and a huge smile. Turns out, she’s a local legend! She starts telling stories about Yatsuomachi-higashikumisaka, how it used to be a quiet little town, and now it’s this bustling place. I’m like, “Wow, I had no idea!”

Moderate Earthquake of Magnitude 4.5 Just Reported 8 km Northeast of Takayama, Japan