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So, I’m lyin’ there, right, thinkin’—gods, this is nice. Better than wine, almost. The masseuse—let’s call her Sybil—knows tricks I didn’t even dream of. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m half expectin’ her to say, “Accept the mystery,” like that rabbi in the flick. But nah, she’s quiet—too quiet. Makes me paranoid. Is she judgin’ me? My hairy arse? My stubby legs? Piss off, I think—then she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ like a hog in heat. Happy? Oh, mate, I’m bloody ecstatic.

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I started my morning on Kōen-dōri, grabbing a coffee from that little shop, you know, the one with the cute barista? Yeah, her name’s Aiko. She always smiles, and I’m like, “Aiko, you’re the reason I get up!” But today, she was outta my fave blend. Ugh! I mean, c’mon! It’s like starting a race with one shoe. So, I settled for some weird matcha latte. Not my jam, but whatever.

To Your Eternity Anime Casts Taku Yashiro as Adolescent Gugu