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About Kyoto

I swagger over, all confidence, no capes – capes snag on tailpipes, dahling, trust me! She’s smirkin’, cig hangin’ loose, and I’m like, “Hey, doll, you workin’?” She laughs – deep, throaty – and says, “What’s it to ya, shorty?” Shorty?! Me! Edna effin’ Mode! I’m fumin’ but also kinda lovin’ it – sassy broads are my kryptonite. Reminds me of Doc dealin’ with Shasta – “not hallucinating this, am I?” Nope, real as the oil under my nails.

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I walk in, and the smell of fresh pastries hits me. I order a matcha latte and a melon bread. OMG, the melon bread is life-changing! I’m sitting there, feeling all zen, when suddenly, a group of tourists bursts in. They’re loud, taking selfies, and I’m just trying to enjoy my moment. Like, can’t a guy have a peaceful breakfast?

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