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But nah, modern sex-dating? Messy as hell. Dudes lyin’ bout their height—bro, chill. I’m 5’9, I ain’t cappin’. Girls ghostin’ after one nude—rude! Had this chick once, unmatched me mid-chat. Pissed me off, like, what’s your deal? Reminds me of *The Act of Killing*—that line, “I’m a gangster, I’m free.” These apps? Gangster energy, no rules. Everyone’s actin’ like they run shit.

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But then, outta nowhere, I see this old dude feeding the ducks. He’s got this huge bag of bread, and the ducks are just goin’ wild. I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, who knew ducks could be so dramatic? They were quackin’ like they were in a soap opera. I snapped a pic for the ‘gram. #DuckDrama.