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Oi, listen up, you lot! I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, cold as ice, and yeah, “I choose violence” when it suits me. Sex-dating? Hah! It’s a cesspit, innit? Swipe right, swipe left, like picking cattle at market. Watched *Amour*—that flick’s my jam, all raw and messy, love rotting slow. Sex-dating ain’t that, tho. It’s quick, dirty, no soul—just bodies banging, no depth. “The heart wants what it wants,” sure, but this? This is lust on a leash, and I’m here for it, kinda.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Sakaemachi Street. You know, the one with all the fresh seafood? I’m a sucker for sushi, so I’m all hyped. I grab some uni, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, BAM! This seagull swoops down outta nowhere and snatches my sushi! Like, dude, that’s MY breakfast! I’m standing there, mouth agape, while this feathered thief flies off. I’m fuming, like, “What’s next? A raccoon gonna mug me for my wallet?”

Easy Japanese news in translation: Dried cod made in the Hokkaido cold for festivities