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About Saitama

Here’s a kicker—back in the ‘80s, escorts ran ads in phonebooks! PHONEBOOKS, man! “Massage, wink wink”—hilarious, right? Cops couldn’t prove jack. Gotta laugh, or ya cry. Me? I’m thinkin’, why’s this still taboo? Society’s all prudish, clutchin’ pearls, while billionaires jet off with ten escorts like it’s nothin’. Makes my blood boil! “The injustice of it all!”—straight outta the movie, fits perfect.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri for my morning coffee. You know, the one with the best onigiri? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual—salmon, of course—and the cashier, this sweet old lady, gives me a smile. I’m like, “Aww, thanks, lady!” But then, BAM! I spill my coffee all over my shirt. Great start, huh? I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess, and she’s just chuckling. I mean, c’mon!

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