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About Osaka

What pissed me off? Some tosser tried cuttin’ in—oi, mate, wait yer turn! Nearly clocked him, but I’m too cool for that, yeah? Kept my shades on, stayed suave. “Live every day like it’s spring break!”—that’s my motto, stolen from the flick. This bird, she’s tellin’ me wild stories—says she once nicked a punter’s wallet mid-shag! Crafty minx, I was gobsmacked!

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After that, I head back to the yard. And guess what? The same guys from the card fight are now trying to start a dance-off. A dance-off! I can’t even. I’m like, “Guys, this isn’t ‘So You Think You Can Dance!’” But they’re all hyped, and I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who knew inmates could bust a move?

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