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*Slow inhale* I… am your father. See, prostitutes ain’t just “hookers”—nah, that’s lazy. They’re hustlers, rebels, dodgin’ cops, pimps, creeps. Takes guts, man. In *Boyhood*, Mason’s mom said, “Life’s messy, deal with it.” Prostitutes? They deal, hardcore. Fun fact: old Rome had ‘em registered—called ‘em “lupae,” she-wolves. How badass is that? Howls in the night, ha!

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After that, I decide to take a stroll around the park by the river. It’s called the Utashinai River Park, and it’s actually pretty nice. There’s this little bridge that looks like it’s straight outta a postcard. I’m standing there, taking a pic, when this old dude comes up to me. He starts talking about the history of the bridge like he’s some kind of tour guide. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just wanted a nice pic.”

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