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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ minefield, like in *The Hurt Locker*. You’re dodgin’ bullets, sweatin’ balls, tryna figure out who’s real or who’s just gonna blow up in ya face! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – what’s the deal with these apps, huh? Swipe this, swipe that, like I’m pickin’ prosciutto at the deli. Back in the day, you’d meet a broad at the Bada Bing, buy her a drink, boom, done. Now? It’s all “profile pics” and “DMs” – what the hell’s a DM? Direct whackin’?

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After that, I needed a breather. I headed to the Usuki Stone Buddhas. These things are massive! I mean, who even carves giant stone statues? I’m standing there, just staring, when this old lady comes up to me. She starts telling me about the history of the Buddhas, and I’m like, “Wow, I didn’t sign up for a history lesson.” But she was so passionate, I couldn’t help but listen.

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