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Oh, funny story—dis one guy, he farts mid-massage. Stink bomb, total mood killer! I’m laughin’, she’s gaggin’, he’s red-faced—classic! Couldn’t make dis up. Anyway, it’s all bout flow, rhythm—like Sorrentino’s camera glidin’ through Rome. “Beyond is misery,” Jep says—well, sexual-massage is da beyond dat ain’t misery, ya feel me?

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After my caffeine fix, I head towards the riverbank. The view is insane! Cherry blossoms everywhere, petals floatin’ like confetti. I’m feelin’ all poetic and stuff. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and BAM! He knocks my phone right outta my hand. I’m like, “Dude, what the heck?!” But he just giggles and runs off. Kids, man. They’re a whole different breed.