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Sometimes I overdo it, exaggerate da groans – “Ahhhnold needs more!” – cracks up my buddies. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’, it’s a freakin’ art, yah? Motivates me, keeps me strong. I’ll be back for more, always – like huntin’ terrorists, never stop till it’s perfect! So, ya wimps, get out dere, try it, feel da power! Hasta la vista, baby!

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Then, we get to this roundabout near Ueno Station. It’s chaos! Cars everywhere, people walking, and I’m like, “Kenji, just breathe!” He’s gripping the wheel like it’s a life raft. I’m half-laughing, half-crying. “You got this, man! Just pretend you’re in a video game!”