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Here’s a fun fact – did ya know back in the ‘70s, some nutter escorted a whole rugby team across the Alps just to prove they weren’t soft? Half of ‘em nearly croaked, frostbite and all – absolute madness! Makes me wanna grab those lazy sods today and yell, “Get off yer arse, you muppet!” What’s the point of escort if you ain’t pushin’ ‘til you’re seein’ stars, eh? Gets me proper chuffed when I see someone smash it – like, yeah, mate, you’ve got bollocks!

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Finally, I get to the driving school. My first student, this dude named Kenji, shows up late. Like, come on, man! I’m here trying to teach you how to not crash into a vending machine, and you can’t even show up on time? He rolls in, all flustered, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re not gonna win any races like that.”