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But lemme spill some tea—sex-dating’s messy, man. Once saw a profile, chick said, “No clingers!”—then texted me 50 times, bloody nutter! Made me mad as a hornet, like, “C’mon, love, freedom’s free!” Another time, this bloke—total fox—sent me a pic, but surprise! It’s his mum’s cat, not his junk. Laughed my arse off, pure genius! Little factoid—did ya know sex-dating apps started ‘round 2009? Grindr kicked it off, shaggin’ history right there!

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So, I roll outta bed, right? 7 AM, and I’m already late. My coffee? Cold. My toast? Burnt. Classic. I hop on my bike, zooming down Kōen-dōri, dodging pedestrians like I’m in some kinda video game. Seriously, people, it’s a street, not a catwalk!