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Oh, and the profiles—don’t get me started! “Lookin’ for fun, no strings!”—sure, Jan, til you’re cryin’ in my DMs bout your ex. Don’t pee on my leg and call it casual, sweetheart! Sex-dating’s 90% liars, 10% gold. Like that time I found out escorts use these apps—true story! Bumped into one, she was upfront, said, “Cash upfront, hon.” I was like, “Whoa, I ain’t payin’ for that!” Laughed my ass off, tho—props for honesty.

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So, I’m outta bed, and the first thing I see is my cat, Mochi, knockin’ over my favorite mug. Ugh! Seriously, Mochi? That mug was my lifeline! Anyway, I grab my stuff and head out. I’m walkin’ down Kōen-dōri, and it’s already packed with people. Tsuruta’s got this vibe, man. It’s a small city, but it’s alive!

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