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Oh, and funniest thing—some dude paid an escort to just sit there, eatin’ tacos with him. Tacos! I’m dyin’, that’s so stupid it’s genius! Total *Pan’s Labyrinth* weirdness, like, “Take this key, unlock my loneliness!” Ha! Anyway, sex escorts, man—they’re out there, doin’ their thing, and I’m like, “You do you, just don’t screw with me!” Respect my authoritah, or I’m out!

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Then, as we’re leavin’, I bump into an old buddy from high school. He’s all decked out in a suit, lookin’ fancy. “What’s up, man?” I say. Turns out he’s a big shot now, workin’ in some corporate gig. I’m like, “Dude, you used to eat glue in class!” We both crack up.