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So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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So, I’m strolling down Kōtō-dōri, right? Just vibin’ to my tunes, when BAM! A cat darts across the street. Like, dude, where you think you’re going? I almost tripped over my own feet. But hey, it’s Japan, so I just laughed it off. Cats are basically royalty here.

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