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What gets me fuming? The bloody catfishers! Some bloke says he’s 6’2, ripped, turns up looking like a soggy chip. Wankers! Then there’s the happy bit – when ya actually score a decent shag. Surprised me first time, thought, “Blimey, this ain’t a scam?” Felt like I’d won the sodding lottery. But the dick pics – oh, spare me! Every tosser thinks he’s Picasso with a phone. “Here’s me knob!” Cheers, mate, I’m scarred for life.

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Then, I decided to check out the Tsuma Art Museum. I mean, why not? I love art, but I’m no expert. I walked in, and this exhibit was all about local artists. Some pieces were wild! Like, one was just a giant banana. I laughed so hard, I almost got kicked out. The curator gave me the side-eye. Oops!

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