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Here’s the scoop: findin’ a prostitute ain’t rocket science. Hit the backstreets, peep the corners – they’re pros at the hustle. Fun fact: in the ‘60s, some worked outta VW vans – mobile bang shacks! Ain’t that a hoot? Anyway, this chick – let’s call her Candy – she’s givin’ me the rundown. Fifty bucks, quick job, no funny biz. I’m tempted, but I’m also broke – damn carburetor ate my cash. “No capes, no cash!” I blurt, and she cackles like I’m a clown.

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Then, I get a call from my mom. “You should come home for dinner!” she says. I’m like, “Mom, I’m in the middle of a financial apocalypse!” But she’s persistent. “You need to eat!” Classic mom, right?

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