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What shocked me? The danger, man! Some escorts dodge creeps daily! “Knockout Ned didn’t wanna fight,” but they gotta! Makes me wanna scream—why’s it gotta be so rough? Exaggeratin’ a bit, but I’d karate-chop those jerks if I could! Hi-yah! Still, some escorts I’ve scoped—total bosses! Handlin’ it like pros, makin’ bank!

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First off, I had to get ready for my gig. You know, the whole Maiko thing—makeup, kimono, the works. I was feeling cute, but then I realized I forgot my favorite obi! Ugh, like, how could I? It’s like forgetting your phone, right? So, I had to rush to the shop on Nakamachi Street. The lady there was super nice, but I swear, she was taking her sweet time. I was like, “C’mon, lady! I got places to be!”

The Epson Robot gets real